PJO Outakes
by xXxrouxXx
Summary: Percy Jackson, the outakes! The outakes of PJO chapters! If its good I will carry on, if not well ya know xD
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN PJO OR RICK! But if I did I would do something like this xD**

Annabeth: I don't want to lose you seaweed brain.

Percy: You won't I have a plan.

-camera inches closer-

-monsters come closer-

Annabeth: Be sa- OW!

Percy: Argh! You did it again!

Annabeth: I did it? Argh I cannot work with you anymore!

Percy: Oh you can't work with me? I think your pride is getting in the way!

-Annabeth storms of set-

Random Monster 1: So what do we do now?

Director (I.E: ME!) : Take a break, y'all deserve it.

Random Monster 2: Cool! Percy you were amazing!

Me: And cut!

Percy: She is so insane! Tell me again why we're working with her?

Me: We need her.

Percy: She head butted me! And I am pretty sure she did it on purpose!

Me: Well if you have problems take it up with him.

Percy: NOT HIM!

Me: Yes…him…

Percy: I wouldn't do that to Annabeth.

Me: Because you loooove her!

Percy: So what? Everyone knows I do…but her

-looks at camera-

Percy: IS THIS THING STILL ON?

-camera falls over-

_Beep_

Grover: It's the great search for Pan.

Percy: Pam? You're all looking for cooking oil?

Grover: Blahahaha! Only a hum-

Percy: Ahhh! Personal space!

Me: Do not tell me Grover fell out of the tree…again.

Grover: -while standing up- S'all cool, s'all cool.

Percy: I swear by the end of this chapter I am going to be dead!

Me: No you won't…she said hopefully.

Grover: I am soooo sorry everyone!

Annabeth: -coming into view of camera- Oh my gods! –doubles over laughing- I can't believe you did it again!

Grover: Well not all of us are wise girls!

Me: Okay! Lets take it from the top!

Percy: -groans-

Grover: Sorry guys!

_Beep_

Blackjack: Man, I hate seeing that boat! It brings back baaad memories.

Percy: Well, don't stay close.

Blackjack: You sure boss?

Percy: Yeah…I suppose you could just drop us on deck. -looks behind- Where's Beckendorf?

Blackjack: Beckondorf?

Percy: Yeah, large, buff, African looking dude. Cool guy, son of Hephaestus.

Blackjack: He's supposed to be here?

-distant screams from sea-

Percy: He fell off again, didn't he?

Blackjack: I have no idea what you're talking 'bout boss.

Me: -face palms- Guys! We are not gonna finish if you keep doing this!

-Blackjack lands-

Beckendorf: Mudda******* left me in the sea…again!

Blackjack: Didn't feel the weight shift! Honest! –looks around innocently then nudges Beckendorf of platform into the sea again-

Me: -glares at Blackjack- I can replace you.

_Beep_

Percy: AHHHH!

Chiron: Di immortals!

Annabeth: That's a hellhound, from the fields of punishment. Somone must have summoned it!

Clarisse: Percy summoned it! It was Percy!

Chiron: Silence child!

-hellhound jumps at Percy-

-Percy stumbles backwards-

-archers ready-

-hellhound lands on Percy-

Grover: Oh great god Pan! It's eating his face off!

Percy: SOMEONE SAVE ME!

Annabeth: -falls over in laughter- Yeah, I think we got a rouge one there!

-camera zooms on hellhound licking Percy's face-

Percy: Its not funny! I'm actually getting wet here!

Clarisse: I saw we leave him.

Luke: I second that!

Silena: Yeah, may as well.

Dionysus: TO THE CAMPFIRE!

-people leave set-

Percy: Guys! Don't leave me!

Me: And this, people, is what I work with! Someone get the dog. I am off.

Percy: Yay…slobber!

-camera zooms in on Percy covered in slobber-

_Beep_

-back-stage camera otherwise known as the snoop cam-

Percy: -hushed voice- Look, Rick, mate. I love how you've portrayed me, but I am not that slow. Really I am not!

Rick: Percy, Percy, Percy. I know that! But if you weren't in the book, then I wouldn't get any readers and you wouldn't be here today!

Percy: What do you mean?

Rick: You're here….because of me! I love you really! Amazing character! Really truly amazing.

Percy: Oh…ok… -walks off-

Rick: -turns to camera- Complete and utter idiot! –walks off-

Me: -turns camera to self- Well, the seaweed brain lives on!

_Beep_

Luke: The golden age is coming, and you, Percy, shall not be apart of it! Get him!

-bear twins run at him-

Tyson: NO HURT PERCY!

Annabeth: Luke…wha-what happened?

Luke: Annabeth…I-

Tyson: Percy! –holding Percy in hug-

Percy: -face going blue- Can't…breathe…help…

-camera turns to see bear twins unconscious-

Me: Is anyone going to tell him this isn't actually real?

-Annabeth, Luke and Percy shake their heads-

Annabeth: -whispers in ear- Tell him that and you won't get a performance.

Me: -whispers back- But he keeps knocking out the actors.

Luke: Improvise time! –grabs random strangers sword- FIGHT ME YOURSELF OH GHASTLY FIEND!

-crew laughs-

Percy: -Uncaps Riptide- Oh yes, maiden stealer! I shall defeat you in a duel!

Annabeth: -looks confused temporarily- Oh…improve…not my strong point…but oh well. Oh no! Dear Percy, SAVE ME!

Tyson: What's going on?

Me: This is out of hand! –waves arms in front of camera- Cut! Cut! I SAID CUT!

_Beep_

Nico: Percy! Percy! You're back!

Percy: …yeah sure little bud…

Nico: Where's Bianca?

Percy: She…she…

Nico: No! No! You promised! –runs to pavillion-

Percy: -follows- Nico…she died a hero…she died saving my life…

Nico: No…no…no go away!

-skeletons show up-

Percy: Nico! Watch out!

Nico: You killed my sister and now you're trying to kill me! –closes eyes and covers ears-

-crack opens in floor-

Percy: Nico, n- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Nico: -opens eyes- Where'd he go?

Me: -points to crack in floor-

Nico: Dammit not again!

Me: 'fraid so.

Percy: -from bottom of pit- Hey Nico! Could you hurry it up…I'm kinda cold down here!

Bianca: -walks in- I reckon we leave him…

Percy: Does everyone hate me?

Me: Pretty much. Your so slow…I think that's why!

Percy: I'm not! Even Rick said it!

Me: Suuuure! Camera off! We need to save that film!

_Beep_

-snoop cam-

Me: Look Grover, we need you to up your act.

Grover: Wha-why?

Me: We have loads of applies for your job.

Grover: But no-one can do a better me!

Me: No…but they can try…

Grover: …

Me: Brandon T. Jackson maybe….he says he thinks he would be a good Grover because of his wicked acting skills…do you agree?

Grover: NO!

Me: So get your act together! –walks off shaking ready to cry, whispers to cam- That hurt to do.

Grover: I can do it!

_Beep_

Me: Thats a rap! Tune in for more! ;)

**Ok! So some outtake as if the book was a film…I got bored xD Anyway, please review! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own PJO, I probably never will…unless I…he he… why'd I tell you! ;)**

Me: And we're back! For another day of shooting…only the gods can save me…

-gun fire-

Me: What's going on?

Random crew member: I'm shooting…

Me: You're fired.

Random Crew Member: I'm the one with the gun.

Me: Fair point! On with the show!

_Beep_

Kronos: Barter with me, I will give you what you want.

Sally: -holographic- Go!

Percy: -whimpers-

Kronos: Help me rise boy! Help me- Oh whats my line?

Cue Person: Bring me the bolt. Strike a blow to the treacherous gods!

Kronos: Ahhh, that's right. He hem! BRING ME THE BOLT. STRIKE A BLOW TO THE TREACHEROUS GODS!

-Percy flies backwards-

Kronos: Was that powerful enough? Do I need to put more into it?

Me: N-no.

Kronos: So it was good?

Me: Sure…can we tone it down?

Percy: Yeah…please.

Kronos: Oh yes, yes.

-holographic Sally wipes brow-

Me: Let's get this going again! And cue spirits!

_Beep_

-snoop cam-

Rick: We're all doing so well!

Me: Yeah!

Rick: Some of you could use improvement-

Me: More like the whole cast.

Rick: But we are going to do it!

-cast cheers-

Small demigod: Is it true that Percy is an idiot?

Rick: -cough- Who told you that?

Me: -whistles innocently- EVERYONE PLACES!

_Beep_

Rachel: Seven half-bloods shall answer the call. To storm or fire the world must fall. An oath to ke- COUGH COUGH COUGH! OK WHAT IS UP WITH THE MIST? OVERDRAMATIC MUCH!

Crew Hand: It's to set the scene!

Me: You're the great oracle, this is the great prophecy.

Rachel: -twirling hair-

Me: Are you even listening?

Rachel: What? –blinks- Oh poop! There goes the contact!

Me: Ay carumba!

_Beep_

-snoop cam-

Crew Hand: It's not perfect?

Prop designer: I don't know I tested it on-

Me: Yes?

Prop Designer: Oh nothing! –runs off-

Me: It better be nothing.

_Beep_

Me: I want all on set for guinea pig scene!

Percy: Do I have to?

Me: NOW!

Percy: -gets in place-

C.C: Here, take this drink and you will become what you truly are.

-takes cup-

C.C: MWA HAHAHAHAHA!

-Percy shrinks-

Annabeth: -burst in- OMG C.C! YOU'RE LIBRARY IS AH-MAZ-ING!...and I am wrong again! –kicks wall- Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!

C.C: None of you are sane!

Me: That's me cast!

C.C: -stares at me weirdly-

Me: That monsters gotta go!

-security drags C.C out kicking and screaming-

Me: REPLACEMENT!

-identical C.C comes out of shadows-

Crew Hand: PROBLEM!

Me: Ugh! Yes?

Crew Hand: …irreversible…

Me: You're telling me Percy's stuck as a guinea pig?

Annabeth: Oh gods! This is just too funny!

Me: No its not!

Crew Hand: It's only temporary!

Me: Fix it!

_Beep_

Annabeth: Percy, stay back!

Grover: Umph!

Percy: Squuuuueeeeeeaaaak! Squeak!

Me: Who gave the guinea pig a sword? Seriously? Do you want us to die?

Percy: Squeak!

_Beep_

Me: With Percy a guinea pig, thereain't much we can do. Y'all get an early night tonight!

Crew Members: To the pub!

Cast Members: To the trailer party!

Annabeth: To the library!

Me: …riiiiight

**All I could think of for tonight! Now I'm off to bed. Sorry it's not as good as the last chapter, but I will try and make a better one tomorrow…anyone reckon I should include The Lost Hero book in these outtakes because that would give me more inspiration. Ok…bye bye Review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Me: Heya People! We have a show to shoot!

Annabeth: I was reading last night an-

Percy: Biiiig shock!

Annabeth: Ha ha very funny.

Grover: My names bugs bunny!

Percy: No its Grover…

Grover: It's a children thing! You of all people should know it!

Me: Come on guys Annabeth had something to say!

Annabeth: I did?

Me: Oh…I give up!

_Beep_

Percy: Come on Annabeth.

Annabeth: Me? Go on the tunnel of love with you?

Percy: Yes you.

Annabeth: Argh…boys…stupid

Percy: Look! The shield!

Annabeth: Watch out it's a trap!

Percy: Too late!

Annabeth: Hit the decks! Ahhhh! Petals?

-love music starts playing as love music and ride starts up petals falling from above with people on-

Annabeth: Ha ha very funny guys!

Me: Who messed up the set?

Random Crew Member: Sorry it says metal spiders not petal gliders.

-miny people squeal from petals-

Percy: Well we could always use the time… -winks-

Annabeth: Ewwww Percy! We are 12 in this chapter!

Percy: I was gonna say play checkers, but you assumed.

Me: Get this sorted out! –shakes camera- WHY DO THE FATES HATE ME?

_Beep_

Luke: I need you to promise…no more like Etha-

Zia: COME ON! THE TEMPLES THIS WAY!

Carter: Wait up! Wait up!

Sadie: Carter, now may not seem like the perfect time to say it, but you're really unfit!

Grover: -faints-

Annabeth: -grabs knife-

Percy: -holds hands up in surrender and growls at the newcomers- Who are you?

Sadie: Could ask you the same thing!

Percy: You're on our set!

Carter: Don't shout at my sister!

Annabeth: Don't shout at my b- soon to be boyfriend…in two scenes!

Me: -whispers to camera man- You getting this?

Camera Man: -nods-

Me: Cool…I'm not completely insane…

-fist fight starts between the characters as Grover, Luke and Zia stand by-

-staff run to stop it will other members of the cast just laugh on the sidelines-

Me: Okay….CUT!

_Beep_

-snoop cam intro-

Snoop snoop snooper, snoop snoop snooper, SNOO-OOP CAAAAM!

Rachel: So, right, Tiffany said that Sharon said that Clarisse screamed that Annabeth cried when they said I had to kiss Percy.

-unheard voice but bussing-

Rachel: I know right! TOOOOTAAAL OTT REACTION!

-buzzing-

Rachel: OMG! NOWAY! Piper! That is sooooo fabuuu!

-buzzing voice now discerned as Piper-

Rachel: Is he with you now?

-buzz-

Rachel: Oh…total bummeeeer…well I g2g luurrrrveee you baaabez! –hangs up- Total sucker! –walks off-

Me: …that was revealing!

Snoop cam yeah!

_Beep_

Dylan: -she'll reward me greatly for your death!

-Jason and Piper exchange silent conversation-

Leo: SHIZ! SHIZZEDY SHIZ SHIZ SHIZ!

Jason: What the heck man?

Leo: Dude made me break a nail!

Coach Hedge: You're kidding me right? –look at camera for support- He is kidding? Right?

Leo: Dude, I can claim on this! You almost drew blood!

CH: …

Leo: That's what I thought! If you need me I will be in my trailer reconsidering my contract!

Me: -holds bridge of nose-

CH: He's not actually going to claim right? I mean…I have rights! I can't afford this right now…-walks off in Leos direction- COME ON MAN! DUDE!

Jason: I better calm him down…

Piper: -sighs- I didn't even get a bit of the action…oh well…

Me: I am never going to finish this!

_Beep_

Percy: Nice horsey…no eat Percy. Percy son of Poseidon –holds hand in the universal alien peace sign- I come in peace! –smiles brightly…before eaten by flesh eating horse-

Me: Not a flipping gain…some-one save the brat…I need coffee…another migraine…fun…

_Beep_

_**I now interrupt this show to bring you news from your director/producer/thingamabob!**_

_Me: Hey guys! –waves- Long time…-gulp- no see. I'm sorry and I could go on with some huge explanation as to why I haven't updated but we all know you don't really care…hehe…so I'm sorry…truce? Anyway, it's the end of the chapter; sorry guys…leave a review if ya still love me!_

**xXxrouxXx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Someone asked me to attempt this is story format…I'm gonna give it a go for one chapter but if I don't like it, I won't do it anymore…**

Annabeth was stood by the fire, ears brimming with the artificial fears of an actor, giving her last lament to Percy. She held Percy's silk green burial cloth in her hands.

"We must assume he is dead." Chiron muttered dejectedly, "After so long a silence, it is unlikely our prayers shall be answered. I have asked his best surviving friend to do the final honours."

Annabeth turned and placed the shroud upon the flames, she watched as the flames licked at the only memory of Percy Jackson, Son of Poseidon. She started reciting her prepared words. Laying on the braking voice, making her eyes go red and puffy she said, "He was probably the bravest friend I've ever had. He…" She stopped mid speech and looked to the entrance of the Amphitheatre. Her mouth fell open and she wiped her eyes, "Where on Earth is he?" She demanded.

Everyone looked to the entrance of the Amphitheatre where the missing cum dead teen, looking bedraggled and if a little un-healthy should be stood. Everyone was not surprised to find that the guy was not there, seeing as he had missed many a scene entrance before/

The director looked around the set, pinched her nose, and called, "Where is Percy? He is needed on set…NOW!"

Suddenly without warning a black Pegasus landed in the middle of the Amphitheatre, narrowly missing the fire. Upon said flying horse sat the one the characters of Percy Jackson sought, carrying a large bucket of what appeared to be KFC fried chicken.

"Oh my goodness." He enunciated around a mouthful of spicy chicken wing, "This is so awesome. You guy should try some."

The actors and crew alike all surrounded and helped themselves to fried chicken while the cameras all powered down and the director walked away rubbing her temples. "This is going to be one heck of a shot today." She muttered insanely to herself, pooping two paracetamol tablets into her mouth and dry swallowing them as she settled under the crew gazebo. "Someone help me now."

_Beep_

"Done with what?" Percy enquired innocently.

"Your quest," Chiron said morbidly, "will you accept it?"

Percy's face turned rebellious, "What if I don't want to go on your quest?" He demanded.

Chiron stood to his full height, "Well tough! You're doing it anyway!"

Grover jumped between the two, "Guys, guys. Now is not the time to fight, not in front of the camera, please." He pleaded, trying to mediate the two wild forces.

"Sure, I won't fight as soon as the brat stops messing around and actually _learns_ his lines!"

"I'll learn my lines when you give me a reason to old man!"

"How dare you call me old you little-"

Percy laughed, "Well, you do use a wheelchair."

Chiron growled, "That's it!"

Lightning flashed across the sky and Chiron stopped before he kicked Percy, "Oh right…can't hurt the main character…where were we?"

"Percy's quest." The director supplied, hoping they could take of where they left.

Chiron nodded, "Your quest. Will you accept it?"

"What if I don't want to go on your quest?"

The director decided enough was enough, "Okay, cut! I think it's time for a break. Percy, run your lines with Annabeth and Grover, preferably _before_ Chiron kills you!"

_Beep_

Percy sat with Calypso on her floating island, that no-one could pronounce the name of, (not even the director) apart from Calypso herself as they poured there feeling out to each other over a lovely evening meal.

"The fates…they always send me someone…" she stuttered.

"Calypso, what is it? I want to help…" Percy said in concern.

The camera slowly edged forwards, closer to them.

"They send me someone I can't help but fall in love with."

The camera flashes to Percy's face, giving Calypso enough time to put fake tears in her eyes (water drops).

"M-me?" He asked "But-" The rest of his sentence is cut off as Calypso jumps across the table and attacks him in a kiss; he reacts and reiterates the kiss.

As they lay on the floor kissing, the scene continues and Hephaestus shows up on the edge of the island in a ball of flames. When he arrives to see the kissing couple he let his mouth hang open. "Did I come at the wrong time?" He asked in shock.

Suddenly Annabeth ran onto the set and yanked Calypso off of Percy. "Stay away from my boyfriend!" She threatened and started scratching at Calypso's face.

"Annabeth!" Percy exclaimed, "What are you doing?"

"She was making a move on you." Annabeth defended.

Percy nodded, "Yeah, a successful one!"

Annabeth's eyes flared, "What is that supposed to mean?"

Percy rolled his eyes, "At least she can kiss without head butting me!"

"Oh that's how it's going to be." She said, slapping Percy round the face.

Percy rubbed at the hand print, "You're not meant to slap me till next chapter." He defended.

"Oh, I felt it should come a little early, lighten up the atmosphere."

Hephaestus shook his head, "I did come at the wrong time didn't I?"

The director nodded, "Yeah, sorry buddy. Okay, let's take it from the top!"

The director turned around but when she looked back she noticed that Percy and Annabeth were kissing and Calypso and Hephaestus were nowhere to be seen. Instead of calling them back she just shook her head dejectedly, "I give up. I just…really give up."

_Beep_

**So, I did one in story format…didn't seem as good as my other ones, but I'll let you lot decide. If you prefer it in script format just tell me and any following chapters shall be scripty :D I feel I can put more humour in if it's in script format…anyone review? (I think I changed tenses at the end there…oops…)**

**xXxrouxXx**


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